Tooth aches, touchy cops, and tough losses

Lemme start this out by saying this post has the vast potential to be the victim of vast mood swings, poor recollection, and interruptions. The mood swings are a result of my body fluctuating between being in sever pain and slightly drugged up. So if it's the train wreck I think it could be I'm sorry.

Y'see I went to the Dentist last week, and the x-rays they took showed two small cavities, so my dentist (who we've been seeing for the last 7 years and is a really cool guy) says, "I'm going to need 45 minutes next week to abuse you." So I went in today to have them filled and I swear I'm the only person who can go into a Dr's office not hurting at all and come out in excruciating pain. Ok so that's not entirely true, the left side of my face was numb for about 25 min after I left... But then it all started throbbing. We're not talking just when I eat/drink or breathe through my mouth... nonono this is like someone's decided my face needed some work and a hammer and chisel was the best way to accomplish it. So I took something to help it... but sometimes it works too well, either that or I'm so hungry I'm light headed, I'm not sure.

Anyway enough of me bitching and onto what you're all here for: Brian's Weekend in Review.

I've defiantly lucked out lately and strung together a bunch of truly enjoyable weekends going back at least to Halloween weekend, maybe further. And this one was no exception. Friday night was really chill, I went to dinner at Neisha with Olker, Chris and Anthony (yes it was a mini dork convention, I don't care we had a good time) the highlight of the evening was probably when Anthony dropped the line "I'm like a combination of Ryan Atwood and Seth Cohen(from The OC)." He inteded to say that he liked comic books like Seth and was as good looking as Ryan but before he could finish Robert injected, "You mean you like comic books and you got a Mexican chick pregnant?" It Robert always impresses me with his quick thinking and ability to put someone down by remembering the most obscure facts. It's a shame that can't really translate into a real job. I mean he's one of the funniest people to hang out with, but I don't think it could make the leap to standup, but it'd be cool to see him try.

Saturday was an ideal weekend day, It was fun, relaxing and productive all in one. I slept in got up ran a bunch of errands (I finally got a haircut and lost like 3lbs of hair) watched college football, cleaned my room and played video games with my roommates. I really can't ask for more from a Saturday than that. Plus Maryland, Clemson and Michigan all won, so everyone was happy (it was especially sweet because Maryland won an OT squeaker and Clemson beat the snot out of the Florida State Criminoles).

And then Saturday night capped the day off nearly perfectly. Holly and I went out to dinner (on a decidedly nondate) to Neisha (who knew I liked Thai food that much?) then Holly drove us out to a bar in Pentagon City to meet up with some people to celebrate Mellen's birthday. It was a great time as usual with the usual suspects; George and Emily, JP and Lisa (or Jisa as Holly and I have taken to calling them), Will and Hillary (Willary, which pretty much everyone calls them), James and Eve, Mellen and Jen, Farrow, Rich, Harrington (who was down from NY for the weekend) Bradin and a few others. It's really funny I used to call that group the alumni, but now pretty much everyone I know has graduated... are they "The Old Guys?" "The Sigma Chi Rho's?" I don't know, but we had a great time. We got Mellen properly rocked and I think we continue to scare Jen, his girlfriend, who's almost too nice for our crowd. But I have no fear that we'll manage to corrupt her soon enough. Heh and you know I was drunk because towards the end of the night JP had me doing shots with him... when was the last time any of you saw me doing shots?!?

That broke up pretty early (like 1ish) (god we are getting old, forget "The Old Guys" we're getting freaking ancient, I mean Christ it was Mellen's 26th) and Holly was driving Farrow and I home. Now as we all know one of the many reasons Virginia sucks is that it's confusing as hell to drive in. The size of the signs they use seem to be inversely proportional to the importance of the road the sign is for and I swear when they were drawing where they were going to build the roads they used a picture of the small intestine as a model. So we missed the on ramp to 395 and ended up driving into the Pentagon Parking lot.

So we turn around and head out, makes sense right? Well no apparently the roads that lead you through the Pentagon Parking lots are One Way. Where there any signs? None that we saw. Where there any double yellow lines or arrows drawn on the road? Nope. So we had no idea we were going the "wrong way" down a "One Way" road. But the cop that was following us did. So we hardcore get pulled over. And next thing we know the cop's saying, "Have you had anything to drink tonight Ma'am?" and "Well could you please step out of the car." Now Holly bless her heart had agreed to play DD (Designated Driver not Dungeons and Dragons you morons) for those of us who lived in North West and had had a grand total of 1 beer when we first got to the bar at 9. Within five minutes three more Pentagon cop cars converged on us (because Holly and two guys who are both under 6' tall and don't weigh a 260lbs combined are really intimidating) and they were putting Holly through a field sobriety test. She kept her cool because she knew she was in the right and had nothing to fear. But damn were they persistent. The cop said he pulled her out of the car because he smelled alcohol... no shit he smelled it, Farrow and I were hammered. Then comes my favorite part, when Farrow and I almost get Holly in trouble for telling the truth.

This one cop came up to talk to Farrow and I while Holly hoping around on one foot or whatever and he seemed hell bent on nailing us for something. When he asked how much we'd seen her have to drink tonight both Rob and I answered honestly. I told him I'd seen her have one beer around 9 and then drink water for the rest of the night. Rob who'd showed up an hour later than us said he'd only seen her drink water. So he starts yelling at us for telling two different stories and I swear he wanted to throw us all in the drunk tank right then and there. When we tried to explain the uhh, you know way time works, he just started yelling more. Luckily the first cop who'd pulled us over realized that Holly was sober (especially when she said of Farrow and I, "The one in the front seat (me) is going to be the nice one and the one in the back seat (Farrow) is going to be the one mouthing off. And when the cop interrogating us came back and reported exactly that the first cop burst out laughing.)

So after 20 min they finally sent us on our way with directions and a stern warning to make sure the driver doesn't smell like bar when driving drunk people home... No harm no foul.

Sunday then wrapped up the weekend nicely. Buffalo Billiards with Chris, Olker, Mickey and Scott for the early games, and then Clarendon Grill with the intentions of meeting up with the "Ancient Guys" (who proved deserving of their label, not being there because they'd played golf earlier and were too tired to stay out for the games). I swear that's like the perfectly planned day for me. Buffalo Billiards has a really good looking all you can eat breakfast buffet (that I haven't had yet but I'm defiantly hitting it up next Sunday) cheap food and drinks and Claire, our waitress the last couple of weeks that I think I've fallen in love with (Maria, the stripper from James' bachelor party, is just going to have to deal with some competition for my heart). And Clarendon Grill's beer is a little more expensive (after 5) but it's got a better vantage point for all the games, and it's actually a Redskins' Bar. Besides this way I hang out with both groups of friends and feel popular.

Yes folks if it wasn't for that spirit crushing Skins' loss (that had my roommates worried that my desire to live might have fallen below critical levels) and one or two other small things I'd say this was pretty much the ideal weekend. I mean I relaxed, got shit accomplished hung out with almost all of my favorite people, watched a lot of good football, got drunk and got a good drunken story out of it (that I did a really poor job of telling here, I might have to revise this later, when my head doesn't' feel l ike it's being used for a hockey puck). Now it's back to the grind, but I've got Toby for most of this week, and that always makes things better. (I have him because Mom's up in Jersey looking at houses again. That's a very weird reality that's starting to set it. But I'll talk more about that later I'm sure.)

Once again, I'm sorry if this doesn't live up to the quality you've come to expect from me. I promise another, funnier post soon. Just to tease it a little bit it'll have a review of the Green Day concert DVD "Bullet in a Bible" (damn straight I'm getting it the day it comes out), at least one story about a crazy client and you'll hear how and why my crazy grandmother decided she was an alcoholic.


Until next time, adieu

-B



WILTN: Foo Fighters "In Your Honor" (DOA's such a fantastic song)