Not quite "Wedding Crashers"

It was like something out of a movie... I was sitting on a bench outside at 9 on a Sunday morning, it was less than 30 degrees out, and I was waiting anxiously for my ride to pick me up. I don't have a winter coat, in fact I'm still wearing the suit I'd worn the day before. My shirt was untucked and unbuttoned my tie was untied but dangling around my neck. My hair was disheveled and I was chewing gum to mask the fact that I hadn't brushed my teeth.

No I hadn't just been let out of the drunk tank, I was leaving the hotel Kristy's wedding reception had been held in. But I'm getting way ahead of myself, I should start at the beginning.

Kristy got married on Saturday. Let me repeat that, KRISTY McMANUS GOT FREAKING MARRIED ON SATURDAY!!! Well she's not Kristy McManus anymore, she's Kristy Cohen. I'm so happy for her, I've never seen her as happy or as beautiful as she was on Saturday (and I've always thought she was hot). Everything was held at Turf Valley back in Clarksville and it was beautiful. She'd always wanted a Christmas themed wedding (which is why they had such a short engagement). They had a brass quintet playing Christmas Carols before the ceremony and the wedding party walked in to Joy to the World (I think they might have walked out to that and into another one but for the life of me I can't remember) and Kristy walked down the Isle (with her grandfather, not her father) to "Brown Eyed Girl" it was really pretty neat.

My parents and I were sitting in the back and I (like to) think I was the first person she saw, and that made me happy for some strange reason. She had a huge smile on her face (she's always had a Miss America type big, toothy (in a good way) smile). As I said before she looked amazing and her dress was gorgeous (I know some people, including me, just say that to be polite, I'm 100% serious). Heh, Gwen said it best, "Leave it to Kristy to find a great wedding dress... with a corset incorporated into."

The ceremony itself was... interesting. They go to a rather... modern style church (which has never been my cup of tea... it's probably just my old fashionedness, but when one of the prayers starts "God, You are awesome!" I don't know... ) and the pastor at times sounded more like as my father described, "An exfootball player trying to sound funny." He beat up on Joshua (that's her husband's name by the way) (god it's still so funny to say "husband" in regards to her) a lot for finding such a beautiful smart girl who was going to take care of him (like in a you'd loose your head if it wasn't attached sort of way, not in a she's going to do the cooking/cleaning/be your servant kind of way). But he didn't really say all that much to/about her. And while the homily was ok (he used all the standard cliches but not much that felt unique or original to me). And yes this might be me being a bit... overprotective isn't the right word but it's the right sentiment, because she's like my sister, but well that's the way it goes. But honestly the thing that probably soured me the most to the ceremony was the woman sitting infront of me who would say "That's right!" "Uh-huh," and "That's so true" to absolutely everything the pastor said, and she said it just loud enough that everyone around her could hear her.

The cocktail hour was nice. Well the food was really good and I was all sorts of awkward because I didn't know if the people I thought I recognized from the few times I went to Lebanon Valley to visit her were the people I thought they were, and I sure as hell didn't remember any of their names. But it got a lot better when the wedding party was done taking photos and I had Gwen reintroduce me to them. Yes we all started getting drunk quickly. Kristy had made sure there was Yeungling and Miller Light because she knew they were my favorite so I started off with them, but decided quickly I wasn't getting drunk fast enough so I switched to something with a higher octane for dinner. The food was pretty good, but I was only half way done when the server snatched my plate away while I was refilling my drink. I was sitting with people I'd met once or twice from LVC and we had a blast and even renamed our table the "Par-tay Table" because table "16" clearly wasn't an accurate description of us (yes we were that drunk).

The part of the evening that probably made me happiest (in a very selfish way, obviously the happiest part was the exchanging of the vows the "I do's" and see how beautiful she was) was after their first dance, and after the wedding party danced the DJ started playing some dance song encouraging everyone to dance and Kristy came straight to me and I was the first one she grabbed to bring up on the dance floor, it might be just because she knew I'd be easy, but I like to think it was because it was me and it really meant a lot to me.

Anyway, the rest of the night was a lot of fun. The kids my age were mostly staying in the hotel for the night and they planned on staying at the hotel bar until it closed down. So I convinced my parents, who had driven me (cause they knew I was going to get sloshed), to let me stay the night and pick me up in the morning. So I found a room to crash in and continued celebrating in Kristy's honor. Dad picked me up in the morning and everything was fine.

Well partially. As I commented to Gwen, "I can't believe she's married!" to which Gwen replied, "But she's so ready, she's been waiting for this day since she was 5 years old." The only thing I could think to say is, "I know I'm not ready for her to be married." Let me assure you it's nothing bad or wrong of me to think, I mean it has nothing to do with Joshua (I mean I don't know him as well as I'd like but that's mostly my fault and I know Kristy is so in love with him) and I'm not harboring some long forgotten love for Kristy (I mean I love her, but that's in a we were separated at birth kind of way) I don't think that (realistically) she's too young to get married or that she's making some huge mistake. I'm just not ready for the first girl I met on my first day of High School in America to be married. I mean I keep having images of us at band camp (yes I went to band camp, bite me), of her and her first boyfriend, all of us hanging out on the bandroom floor, driving to school together... I'm not old enough to have my best friends be getting married. Scott and Beth two summers ago was fine, I mean they'd been dating for years and it was expected, ditto for James and Eve, plus they're a few years older than me. I don't know, I'm really happy for her but it's still going to be weird, she's Kristy Cohen now...

Oh well, I know she's going to be happy. I'll just have to get used to this whole marriage thing. But I swear she'd better not have kids for a few years... no way I could handle that now.

-B